“I’m not going to raise my kids the way my parents raised me”

We’ve all heard people, including me, say “I’m raising my kids differently” or “I’m never going to raise my kids the way my parents raised me”. I hear that all the time. But, have you ever heard someone say “I’m going to raise my kids just like my parents raised me”.

I doubt it.

I’ve never heard anyone mouthed those words.

I think it’s because we as a society often focus on all the negative ways in which our parents raised us, recalling all the drama and trauma that afflicted us. And in reaction to that trauma, we announce that we will behave differently, raise our kids differently. For example, if often goes like this: someone was abused (physically or emotionally) by their parent and then take every measure to ensure that they do not abuse their child. Or someone felt that their parents hovered over them too much, controlled every element of their life; and as a result, they create a house in which liberty exists, a sense of freedom.  In a way, that’s great — the next generation reaps those benefits. But still, it’s an act in opposition.

But what about passing on positive life lessons that we want to pass on? The good stuff that we want to continue ?